The Facebook Family

In a hectic world where we are all caught up in working, working and more working there is a place that you can go to stay connected with friends of the past and present.  It's someplace you can go to stay connected with the family who lives close and the family that lives far away.  It's a way to say hello to those friends from your old school days.   It also serves as a support group.  When one person is hurting...the whole cyber family is there lending support.  Whether your dealing with a sick family member, a death in the family or your looking for an opinion on a major life decision....the cyber clan is always there to lend an opinion.  Sometimes it is not even that complicated....it might just be.....that your thinking of coloring your hair or what shoes should I wear.  We all love to join in and lend an opinion.....even at the oddest of times.  We commiserate with each other's misery....if one had a bad day...we can either relate or lend sympathy.  Weddings, funerals, funny stories, bad days, new hair color, new shoes, weight loss, weight gain, exercise, our furry friends and much much more.  Why where would we be without Facebook.  For those who are against it....they should try it...they too would see...there is more good from it than bad and once you make that step you then become part of a very different special family.  

I'm 26 on the 47th day of October

When ever it was my Mom's birthday she would always say "I'm 29 on the 86th day of March".  We all used to laugh and she would say.....that month keeps getting longer and longer.   Now I would like to adapt her way by saying I'm 26 (forever) on the 47th day of October!  I like it.  Forever 26!! I could live with that!  

Indian Summer

Hitting 80 degrees yesterday was such a treat.  We put the top down on the Porsche and rode down the shore ....wind in the hair...sun on the face....we hopped on the boat and went for an end of the Summer fall ride....had lunch out on the water and then headed to our trailer....cleaned up some leaves and chatted with our neighbors.....rode top down home.  It was all so bittersweet.  Nice day....great weather....knowing it is all coming to a crashing end is what makes it so bitter.  I love Indian Summer days ....love pumpkin everything....but what I hate is cold weather, wearing a coat and general drab weather that comes with it.  I'm just not designed for it.  I really should be living someplace where it is warm year round and where you can do summer activities all year long.  Goodbye summer days, goodbye boat, goodbye trailer, goodbye convertible.....I'm hoping for an extended Indian Summer one that lasts well into December.  Past history has taught me that it won't happen that way.  But a girl can dream...can't she?

Scat you cat!!

If you let your cat roam the neighborhood and go to the bathroom in my yard then why can't I let my dog go do his business in your yard?

I really don't understand letting cats roam and doing their business where ever they want.  If I let my dog do that everyone would have a fit...wouldn't they?  And...I must say cat poo and pee stink pretty badly when they use your yard like a litter box!!!

Someone explain this to me...cause I just don't get it!

Goodbye to our "Ray" of light....

To my brother dear, 

Although you may not have lived very near....

You were always close at heart, 

Your quick wit and charm always played a part, 

You came from Jersey and headed to Ohio to start this life, 

You could not have asked for a better wife, 

Your children carry on your legacy and traits a bit, 

We see it in their smiles, their charm and their wit, 

Now you have left us leaving us all feeling sad, 

The only comfort we take is that you are now with Mom and Dad, 

May you rest in peace and feel no more pain, 

And then someday we will all be together again.      

Now I've been kicked in the gut....

As if it weren't bad enough that I lost my Mom this year...now it is looking as though I may lose my brother too.  :-(  I just got notified today that he has now moved to a hospice situation.  It's so heart breaking and he is 8 hours away.  :-(  I am trying to draw so much on the strength that my own Mom had during difficult situations but it is not easy.  We have (all 5 sisters) inquired and let them know if we are wanted we will be there but it must not be the situation.  I know when my own Dad was sick he did not want anyone seeing him that way and I totally get and respect that.

Finding strength during difficult times is not easy.  I pray....I pray...and I pray.  I don't know what else to do.  My Dad used to say "if you can't change the situation then there is no point in worrying about it".  My Mom would just say "it's gonna be alright and it will get better next year".  While both had good points.....I am still worrying.  This sucks.  CANCER sucks big time!!! Not only does it suck....it FUCKING SUCKS!!!

Rolling with the punches.

Life has given me some shitty hand outs this year.  I'm not liking it.  But....I'm trying my best to suck it all up, lift my chin up and keep on trucking.  I am trying to be strong and brave.  I am trying to think of it like the ocean and when your swimming and you get that first big wave that knocks you on your ass.... you come up and don't know where the hell you are...you got water up your nose...it feels terrible.  Then the ocean calms down...now you like it...yeah, this feels nice.  You turn your back and another wave is coming to knock you down......  Yeah...I'm caught in the wave and right now it's not feeling so good.  I'm trying to roll with it....  I do realize that life is short and if you spend too much time feeling sorry for yourself you will spend your whole life time that way.  I am trying NOT to do that.  But when things get rough...it's hard not to keep thinking about it.  Being strong is not easy.  I don't know how my Mom did it.  Yet.....no matter the circumstances and how bad it really was...she always told us it would be alright.  Yeah......I need to hear that.  <3

Bah.....school is coming!!! :-(

I feel it coming and I am dreading it.  For those of you who have kids....you know what I am talking about!  School will be back very soon!  I am probably one of the few parents who dreads it.  Back to strict schedules...back to icky routines and back to NO more carefree summer nights.  I, myself, dislike it......I dislike it very much!

My biggest dread of all and probably the reason I dislike it so much is the forms that need filling out for school.  I usually end up writing so much that my hand is cramped up into a little ball by time I am done.  OK, OK...that may be an exaggeration but at least that's what it feels like.  I'm coming up with a plan though......a sneaky plan.  I'm always a little envious that my hubby never does the forms and I am always doing them.  So from now on...when they ask for a phone number...they are getting his.  Muhuahahahahahahahah!  Although when I think about it....we don't really ever get that many calls from the school (which is good thing)....but in the event we do....they are calling him!  OK, OK so my plan is not as great as I think it is......but....as I write those forms out....it at least makes me feel better and smile and giggle a little as I write his cell number.   Maybe just that thought alone will help me get through the endless paperwork school nightmare this September.

Breaking...

I've been out of the blogging world so to speak for a while now.  I haven't been writing or reading any at all.  I just needed a sabbatical from it for a while and now I feel as though I am ready to return.  Slowly...because it is summer and everything is done more slowly in summer...plus summer is my favorite time of year and I have made a vow that I will spend most of it this year down the shore.

In June my oldest son returned from Europe...can't tell you how happy that has made me.  My youngest son got his license.  I am watching my boys grow into adulthood and while it may be trying at times....I do enjoy them.  Next weekend we all leave for a family wedding in West Virginia...I am looking forward to the road trip together....as I am sure we will have many laughs....mostly they laugh and pick on me!  But that's OK.

If I have said it once I will say it again.....I love my family and I love summer.  If I never told anyone this before...I hate Mondays!  LOL.  That's all for now.  

Parent's Worst Nightmares....

Two weeks ago on Mother's Day night I attended the viewing of my brother-in-law's brother....it was difficult as in my mind the deceased was not that old (64) and my heart broke for his parents who were there.  My heart ached for them thinking that no parent should ever ever have to bury their child no matter the age.

Last week our town sat on their edge of their seats all week as an ongoing search was happening for a missing teen in our town.  Unfortunately the search ended very tragically and although I did not know these people well....I recognized them from around town and as any parent would feel....my heart ached.  I saw the man in Wawa the day after his daughter was found (drowned in a pond) and people were coming up to him and giving him condolences.  I felt terrible.  I wanted to say something but could not bring myself to be able to even find the words.

When I think about these past couple of weeks and I try to put myself in the place of both of those parents...I cannot imagine what they must be feeling.  No words must give comfort.....nothing must look, feel or be the same again after.  Your life must be left with a major void that will never again be able to be filled.  My heart aches for them both and my thoughts and prayers are with these parents.

So, while our teens, small children or grown adult kids may drive us crazy from time-to-time and while they may want to debate us until we cry uncle, and while our kids are getting ready for college, branching out and driving, or just beginning their life and having grandkids.....it's time we each give them just that one extra hug, kiss and I love you.  For we all need to stop and be thankful for every precious moment that is given to us......as every moment should be thought of as a gift.
  

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day....this is a day to reflect.  Reflect on the joys of happy moments with your own children as well as the happy moments with your own Mom.  I have lots to be thankful for.  I had a great Mom who was a lot of fun and I was lucky to have her until she was almost 89 and that she had all her faculties up until her death.  I have big shoes to follow in!  I also feel very lucky as a Mom myself.  My oldest son is over seas and he is having the experience of a life time.  While I wish I could be there with him, I can be happy as a clam for him to have such a great experience.  I am not one of those Moms who just because my kids are experiencing something I have to experience it too...I can be totally happy and excited for them and I love hearing their stories.  I am also very happy for my youngest son as he is doing real well with his track team and twice now he has come in first place.  The meets have been lots of fun and I get a lot of joy out of watching him.  Today I will miss a few things....my Mom and the fact that my oldest son is not home but I will enjoy my youngest son and I will be happy thinking about many many good times past, present and yet to come with my own kids.  Looking ahead, thinking positive and loving life.

Pet Peeves....

Here are just a few of my pet peeves......

1.  Unanswered emails.  This drives me crazy.  I am not looking for a whole story or a book....I am just looking for a quick answer and maybe one that says "hey, I am real busy right now but....".  I just don't get how people can ignore these things and not answer.  I find it amazingly rude.

1a.  I numbered this 1a because it is the same but different.  It is unanswered texts.  Read 1 above.

2.  Timeliness.  Lateness drives me crazy.  If the start time for the event or wherever your heading is 10...the by gosh by golly be there by 9:50 or 9:55!  I have a real issue with being late.  I hate it.  It bothers me.  My parents must of ground it in my head that it is never a good idea to be late.

3.  This is kind of an odd one but it happens a lot.  People who sniff instead of using a tissue and blowing their nose.  I cannot stand this.  Just take a tissue and blow that crap out of your nose.  No one wants to hear you go "sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif".

OK, that is all I have for now.  My ranting about a few things...... let me tell you there's more to come............but it will have to be another day.

Paint it.....paint it.... (click here to hear the song)

Busy day today....ripped my whole bedroom apart and have painted it.  No, we did not paint it black....although that Rolling Stones song keeps ripping through my head as I use the roller up and down and side to side....and my back is screaming now!!  When we originally picked out this paint it had a beautiful olive glow to it...not dark olive..nice light green olive look to it.  After we started painting at 6 in the evening (long time prepping)....we were looking at the paint as though this could not possibly be the one we picked out.  It was in fact, the right one but once on....it looked more like army green.  I told my hubby our new alarm is going to be the trumpets blowing the revelry to get up!!  Now that the room is completely covered because we decided we were gonna like it and there was no turning back....I like it.  Either that....or it is just growing on me.  I promised my hubby once completely painted I would buy us a very nice bed spread and curtains that will make our room look wonderful and no army would even want to be in there.  :-)  New bed gets delivered tomorrow along with my new living room furniture...I am very excited! 

Happy Easter!

So as I began this Easter morning I was feeling bit low about my recent mourning (not having my Mom).  I came to realize that instead of feeling sad or bad...I would honor her.  In Easter days of past...my Mom would always make Kielbasi and Saurkraut for Easter....I decided to continue this time honor tradition.  Believe it or not...for some silly reason...it actually made me feel better.  Can I explain why?  NO.  I cannot.  It just did.  I just took the time to enjoy a beer....a beer in her honor....which is exactly what she would have done if she were here.  Her memory is with me everyday but on this special holiday it made me feel better to do something she always loved.  Mom...I miss you tons....you have tough shoes to fill but I will certainly try!  Happy Easter to all!

Spring!

Spring!

The calendar says Spring is here,

The weather it is showing no fear,

Longing for warm sunny days down the shore,

The cold, the rain it can be such a bore,

The flowers are blooming despite a chilly start,

I want to know and to feel in my heart,

The warmth of the sun and the heat on my face,

The sun, the sand, my most favorite place,

Longing for real spring and summer days,

Waiting, waiting, and wanting those rays,

It will renew my spirit and lift my mood,

Spring is the beginning of a new attitude.

Will Secretaries Eventually Be Extinct?

I work as a legal secretary and often wonder if we will become extinct especially as the younger generation keeps moving into the work force.  The reason I say that is because all the younger lawyers and probably younger workers in general...all do their own computer work.  They type themselves, they email, etc.  Oh there are a few things they do not do and still need the help of an Assistant but I wonder as time goes on if that will change.  I work for a dinosaur and by that I mean a man who still has me get people on the phone for him, he still does dictation, I take care of personal items for him and he has me type everything.  I like my job...I love being that busy and being asked to do all these things.

What do you think....do you think secretaries will become extinct like the dinosaurs?

Needing a little R-N-R

Why must my body remind me that I am over tired and in need of sleep constantly?  Recently my weekdays and weekends have been filled with things to do.  Since the beginning of the year it has been constant "things to do" and "places to go" and "chores to complete".  Where does this leave me?....tired.  I am tired when I go to bed (well, duh...of course) and tired when I wake up and tired all day long.  It makes my focus feel like it needs more focus.  I think what I really need is time off just to have fun....to sleep late for more than 2 days......stay up late watching movies a few nights....and have time to spend on maybe a creative dinner with maybe a glass of wine while cooking instead of the "whine" I have now while cooking.  LOL.  To maybe be able to read a bit and just be a bit lazy.  April 1st the campground opens and I am certainly looking forward to it.....I hope I can rejuvenate this tired old body and renew my spirit in the calm of the Jersey shore.

Healing...

I am working on healing...I truly am.  I still think about Mom every day.  I did really good today.  Was proud of myself...went into work was happy and had a good attitude all day.  Oh...don't get me wrong...I still have that empty-punched-in-the-gut sort of feeling but I was working past it.  Was really proud of myself.  Then........

The Doctor called me to tell me how sorry he was for the loss of my Mom.  I could not hold it together...then I cried...and even made the girl sitting next to me cry.  :-(  Couldn't help it he told me a lot of nice things about my Mom for which I felt very proud.  I feel good about the person my Mom was and I told him she was happy and joking all the way to the end....and he said he believed it based on how she was always happy when she came to see him.

This healing process is going to be long and hard......probably the hardest one I have ever experienced in my life.  But, like my Mom, I too am strong and I know I can do this.

<3 Forever my Mother <3

For my Mom....

The lady had a heart of gold,

Even as she grew old,

She lived her life with dignity and grace,

Always with a smile on her face,

Her life with Dad made her proud,

When she was at a party...she drew a crowd,

Her laughter filled a room like none other,

She had extreme pride about her life as a Mother,

She spoke of all six children with a heart filled with love,

And her role as a Grandmother fit her like a glove,

Always telling a good story about her experiences in life,

Whether it was her role as a NJ Bell worker, a Mother or Wife,

Her motto was to laugh every day,

She lived her life to the end just that way,

Smiling, laughing and sharing her smarts,

You may be gone from our lives but not from our hearts.

Others should learn from her.....

My Mom has recently been hospitalized and at the age of 88 (soon to be 89) as she is battling with congestive heart problems.  The outlook the Doctor has given us is bleak which makes us all very sad.  The mere thought losing such a wonderful woman who can lighten up a party just by entering the room is heart breaking to all of us.  As my Mom lays in her hospital bed and is sleepy most of the time and not feeling well...I watch as they wake her to take vitals....she smiles and says hello and always talks sweetly to everyone.  Always, always pleasant.  I think to myself.....she is pretty much confined to her bed.....sleepy all the time.....doesn't eat that much.....but always has a smile for everyone.  That just amazes me.  My Mother has always had a great sense of humor and for almost every visit she always manages to say something to us to make us laugh.  I see now just how my Mom touches all the lives of those she comes in contact with and has done this for her entire life.  People who are bitter, disgruntled, angry all the time and just plain mean should learn from her....she is the shining example of how you need to live life and make the best of even the worst situations.  She amazes me. <3

How rude!

Anyone who has ever watched the show Full House remembers when one of the little girls used to say "how rude"!  Well....I wanted to say that today.  We were out shopping for groceries at BJ's and when we were done we got in line....the line next to us opened up and we hopped in it.  We saw this couple who just had a few items and we told them to go in front of us.  So they went in front of us but never...never...never even said thanks...or gave us a head nod....nothing.  Why...why are people so rude that they cannot even acknowledge with a common courtesy.  I would not be so upset if I did not believe that this is becoming the norm and not the exception.  I seem to see this more and more and it bothers me!  We need to get back to the days of Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening, Hello..how are you, Please, Thank You, Nice day today, ....etc., you get the picture.  Don't you agree?

Snow business....

****We have had a lot of snow lately and they are calling for yet another big storm coming up on Ground Hog's Day.  It is getting very tiring and exhausting.  All this snow got me thinking.............Snow when your 10 is very exciting.  As you watch the flakes falling you think about the potential snow ball fights, building snowmen, and most importantly a snow day from school.  At age 20 the excitement is still there because you see potential to go out with friends and do some skiing, snow boarding or snow mobileing....hanging and having fun with your friends.  At age 30 a big realization comes and you realize you are now solely responsible to remove this snow yourself...zap...the fun is gone.  At age 40 you decide that digging out time and time again is for the birds and now is the time for you to own a snow blower.  At age 50 you look outside and see kids walking down the street with shovels in hands knocking on doors.....and you finally say YES you can shovel me out! *****

Remotes

We have too many remotes.  To turn the TV and cable box on you need Remote #1 (from the cable company), we have the one that came with the TV Remote #2,  we have one that controls our DVD player which is Remote #3 and then we have one that controls sound system which is Remote #4.

In order to watch a DVD first you need to use Remote #1 then you have to change channel with Remote #2 and operate said DVD with Remote #3 and adjust volume with #4......is it me or does anyone else find this totally crazy!  I did not even include Remote #5 & Remote #6.....#5 goes to the Wii player and #6 goes to the old/outdated VCR!

Misplace 1 remote and the whole system crumbles.  I am not a TV addict but I do like to watch the news in the morning, hear traffic updates and then do the same thing when I get home.  Seriously I say to myself ...how the hell do the elderly keep this remote thing straight!  My in-laws are in their 80's and my Mom is almost 89.......I suppose just the fact that they can get the TV to turn on is a pure miracle!!

Vacation, New Year and Setting a Bird Free.....

Last week I was on vacation....my plan was to spend the week enjoying time with my family where the 4 of us would go to NYC and do some sightseeing...spend some days shopping together....and eat out a few meals.  What really happened?  Monday the snow was up to our arse, Tuesday I was sick as a dog, Wednesday I was even sicker, Thursday not much improvement and by Friday I had a slight improvement.  Basically my week consisted of laying in bed or on the couch and just vegging and watching TV.  What a major disappointment.  We usually have a family party every year for NY Eve and everyone comes over and we really enjoy it.  This year....for the first time....I had to cancel.  I was too sick to pull it all together and I was worried about making everyone else sick too!  So now my vacation and my New Year were a real mess.

I really wanted some meaningful time with the 4 of us and it did not pan out that way....needless to say it made me feel heartbroken.  My oldest son leaves for Paris on Thursday and I was counting on these days for some good ol' family time.  I ended up being just a sick lump on the couch.  I was doing good about him leaving to go too.  Until today I have not cried too much.  Then my hubby mentioned today that he could not believe he was leaving.  This opened up my floodgates and allowed the water to flow now.  Now it thinks it can keep flowing freely and I am trying hard to keep it in control.  I have been trying to convince myself to think of this in segments of time.......before you know it ...it will be February...then March...then I will be heading down the shore in April and then before you know it he will be home in June.  This allows me time to get a grip when I think of it this way.  This experience will be probably the best experience of his life and I am so happy and so proud of him.  He will be at a very well respected and hard-to-get-into school.  For this I feel like a peacock flocking my feathers and saying "that's my boy"!

But when my range of emotions come over me and I think of how much I will miss seeing him I then just become a mother chick....wanting to continue caring for her little chickie.  I ask myself how do all the Moms before me handle the child growing up.   I know eventually I will be OK but there will be a time period for me that will be rough.....but I know letting the bird fly is being the best Mom I can be to my son.....allowing him have this experience will be probably one of the best experiences of his life and for this alone....it makes me feel good.  I am happy for him but I will cry at his departure.  :-(