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Sunday, April 29, 2012

Helping teens problem solve...

As I write this post..I spent most of last night awake.  Awake thinking about some things that my teenage son is going through with his friends.  We've been trying to help and guide him as best we can and we hope that we give good advice.  But....I've been where he is right now...and it does not feel good.  One should not spend the last two months of school just wanting to get the hell out to get away from mean teens.  Although his situation is much different than mine brought all those memories flooding back....let me share my experience:

When I was a Junior in HS I met my hubby in English class.  It was great...we hit it off right away and I felt like there was no one else for me.  I asked him to a dance.  It was the thrill of my life.  My best friend was very happy for me that he said yes.  We went to the dance and it was a blast.  A few short months after that we started dating regularly.  My best friend was dating someone regularly too.  So, you say, you must of gone on double dates...right?  Yeah..we tried that.  The problem was my best friend was dating a Loser....someone who was more interested in drugs and getting high than he really was interested in anything else.  I saw this. do you tell your best friend that?  I couldn't.  I could not bear to hurt her feelings and break her heart.  So instead I did the backstroke.  We were with them less and less and I saw her less and less too.  It put a rift in our relationship. We separated after high school and each went our own way.  I married my high school sweetheart and she married this guy.  This guy ended up stealing from her to get a point where he was leaving her poor.  She finally saw the light and left him.  She since has been married 2 more times.

I often question my choice not tell her that he was a loser.  Although I think if I did it would not have gone well.  This makes me hope that I am giving good advice to my son to get him through a very difficult teenage time.  We all learn from our mistakes but to this day....I still miss my best friend and wish that had all gone differently.  Yes I have formed good girl relationships since and have some pretty good friends but holding onto that childhood friend well into adulthood would have been nice. 

1 comment:

  1. It is always difficult to tell a friend something that is so obvious to everyone. Even harder to watch your child struggle through a similar experience. Good luck, I hope it all turns out well.