Parenting Teens...

My kids are both teens (19 and 16) and I often wonder.....are we really good parents?  Do we do the right things?  Do we say the right things?  Should we have done this different?

As a parent it is difficult to know whether what you are doing/or have done is "right" or not.  We hope we did yet we often look back and question ourselves as to whether we are good parents or not.  I think we are.  We have a good base....2 boys who have both maintained good grades....the boys basically get along and now that they are in their teens they tend to rely on each other.....even if it is just to say "hey, can you believe what Mom and Dad are telling me"....LOL.  I have witnessed for myself that they both have shown compassion towards aging family members by lending a hand and also to an ill family pet,  they basically will do things for me when I really need their help, yet they have & continue to do things that all typical teens do...but who's kid hasn't?  As parents we tend to all butt heads with our teens now and again but I am looking at this as normal.  Who's kid has not argued the reason for the curfew, why I can't go here or there, why don't you agree with my point of view, religion, politics and life in general.........and so on, and so on?

I have questioned myself like this many times but honestly I think (I hope) we have done the absolute best we could and gave our kids way more than we ever had and better opportunities than either of us have ever experienced.  This alone is something that I hope they truly appreciate.  I think all teens tend to make their parents question themselves at one time or another.  I would like to believe I am not alone.  Am I?

Thankful for....

Thankful for....

1.  My hubby, my kids, my family and all extended family members.

2.  Our health and we hope/pray everyday that everyone remains healthy.

3.  Work - we're both fortunate enough to have jobs & the fact that we don't have to work on major holidays.

4.  On a lighter note...the fact that my new heater will be installed on Monday!

5.  The cute little pooch who follows me around the house.

6.  And so so so much more!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

This is how the Pioneers did it....

I am starting to get the hang of this thing where we have no heater.  With our busy schedules and having people come in and giving us estimates and trying to narrow down which heater best suits us...it has been a long process.  We made our decision now and we are waiting for final installation date now.

As I was saying......I am starting to get used to it.  I am actually thinking this is it what it was like many many many years ago.  I wake early in the morning and fire up the gas fireplace then I hop back into bed to warm up and until the rest of the house reaches a good temp.  We leave it running full blast until we go out then off it goes.  Returning home...it's back on again.....then off at bedtime and the cycle begins again on another day.

Only difference is many moons ago it would be a wood burning fireplace and some poor sap probably had to run outside to get another log!  At least I am just throwing on a jacket firing up the heat and running back to a warm bed.   I guess I should thank my lucky stars I am not churning the butter and making the dough for the bread.

What I have learned recently:

When times are tough, strong families stick together.

There are people out there who will always “help” you and that person will surprise you.

Parents will do anything for their child no matter what their age.

There is no greater pleasure than to see the bond that has formed between your children.

I never thought I could love my family more but with each passing crisis or situation it becomes more apparent to me just how strong my love for my family is.

Goodbye Europe

Dam....we waited as long as possible this year to turn our heat on.  Finally turned it on last week only to discover that our house was cold in the morning.  Repair man came last night and said it was DEAD.  Ugh.....now we have the undaunting task of getting prices for a new heater but we can't drag our feet too long as the temps will continue to plummet.  We do have a gas fireplace on our front porch which has been our salvation.

This really bugs the hell out of me cause I was attempting to save money for a trip to Europe while my son was over there and as it is already it has been a struggle.  Right now we need a new dishwasher and a new fridge.  Talk about everything falling all apart at once!!!  Why...why...why now must our heat go on us!!

I suppose we could all sleep around the fireplace the entire winter and then enjoy a nice trip to Europe?  And hey, who needs clean dishes and cold food?  Unfortunately my more practical side is kicking me in the ass and saying.....YOU DO!!

A very special Aunt

My last post was about my birthday dinner.  My birthday followed that following Tuesday and it started as a good day with well wishes and gifts from co-workers.....I love that we celebrate our birthdays like this...we are always like kids when we get our gifts.  The afternoon was a little less joyful...while eating lunch I received a call that a very special Aunt had died.  I was heartbroken.

She had a very special place in my heart.  She was my husband's Aunt and while we were dating and I was working at a Camp (in the Camp office) she would bring my husband there to go swimming with me while I was on break.  I always thought that was the sweetest thing for her to do...so thoughtful and considerate.  Her kindness did not end there you see....she was kind to everyone, she cared about everyone and she gave, gave, gave of herself.  She is someone you will just never forget.  She immersed herself in her family but anyone she knew that needed a helping hand she was always there for them.  She was always happy and cheerful no matter what her troubles were and never had an unkind word for anyone.  I feel truly blessed having known her and I feel as I look back on her life......that it makes me want to be a better person.  To take the time to help people more, to be cheerful as much as possible, to make others happy with small things and to try not to get angry over anything.

Aunt Ethel was an Angel on earth and I am truly convinced she is now flying among the Angels up above.  She will be truly missed on earth and even though she left us too soon she certainly left a lasting impression.

Missed but never forgotten.............  

Moments...

Moments with my family (just the 4 of us) are now to treasure.  My oldest son is usually at college and my youngest is usually off with his friends.  So knowing that my birthday was coming (not until Tuesday) and my oldest son was coming home from college on Friday...I planned a dinner for all 4 of us to go out together last night.  My hubby asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told him....dinner with the boys.  You have no idea how much that dinner satisfied me.  I love having those dinners with my kids.   I love watching the boys banter a bit with each other...and hearing them talk together...it's nice.

It made me realize that stolen moments like these are to treasure and as we age they become less and less because everyone is growing and involved in their own lives.  It makes me realize how excited my Mom (she's 88) must get every time she sees one of us because I now feel the same way.  I do not want to become one of those old people that always complains.....you never come to see me......I want to be one of those old people that says...come over for dinner or I am taking you out to dinner tonight.  I think as you age and your growing and maturing as a kid....nothing is more appreciated than that occasional dinner that Mom and Dad provide.....I want to be those kinds of parents.  And....if they live far away....look out cause I am coming to visit and maybe I'll take them to dinner!!!

My misery....

I've had a headache for the past couple of days, have been feeling generally shitty and have not been getting a good nights sleep, I can feel myself being short and crabby with people.  After the words spill out of my mouth I sometimes wince and say....why did you say that?  Then I regret it.  I say next time I am not going to do this.  I also feel myself doing this with my hubby and sons.  I feel myself being cold.  It is like there is an alien in my body and it is taking over.  If there were a pill invented to avoid this thing we call PMS....I would be first in line to take it.  I really hate who I become once a month and sometimes I think the people around me aren't liking me so much either.  It does not leave me feeling all that great about myself and I wish there was a way to change it.

Pepe De Pew....

We had a skunk making a nest under our front porch.  We called Animal Control and they set a have-a-heart trap.  First night as soon as we smelled him we checked the trap.  He was smart.  He ate the food and didn't trip the trap.  So we tried putting trickier food in there.  Decided apples & peanut butter would surely make an animal linger.  No....he ate some apple and all the peanut butter and got out.  The next night we decided we were going to try peanut butter with dog food in a small bowl.  Hubby increased the sensitivity on the trap.  Keep in mind....the smell is now reeking throughout my entire house.....my basement.....and my front porch is unusable.  The smell was so strong it made us feel physically sick.

Well dog food & pb caught us a nice possum.  Next day they took the possum and relocated him.  We set it again.  Next day my son found someone's house cat in there...it had a collar...he let it go.  We rebated the trap and we caught the skunk!!  Although much to our dismay....he sprayed.  My house now was horrendous in skunk odor!!  The next day we caught another possum.  I never realized there was so much wildlife in our neighborhood!!!

We went down the shore to our trailer in the woods this weekend.  Spending lots of time cleaning up and getting it ready to be closed up for the winter.  For the first time in 7 years there....we smelled a skunk was in the area.  We feel like we are being plagued with skunks.  We kept smelling it just like we smelled it at home.  We sprinkled moth flakes under our deck and we are hoping ....it does not make a home there.

Pepe De Pew has caused quite a stir in my house this week........I'll never look at those critters the same way ever again!

Decisions....

It has been my son's dream to go over to France for many many years.  He will be studying abroad for 1 semester and that begins in January and ends in May.  Of course as a Mom I have some serious worries about him going but I am truly happy for him and I want him to get as much out of this experience as possible.  I want him to see as much as he can.  He is going to college to be an interpreter and this semester abroad is important as he was told there is nothing better for you to be truly fluent than to immerse yourself in the language.  I fully support his decision to do this and I am very happy for him.

The other day my Mom called me....crying and begging me not to send him to France.  She was watching the news and the recent scares about people who are abroad are totally scaring the hell out of her.  I calmed her down, told her he was not going until January, and told her that we cannot do this.  I was going to be worried enough as it was.  I was not going to kill my son's hopes and dreams just to satisfy my own needs about worrying.  She calmed down and understood.

I understand everything they are saying about being vigilant and we plan on having a serious talk with him about this before he leaves.  We want him to be aware of his surroundings no matter where he is.....here or there...anywhere.  I feel like if we were to stop him from going we would be doing exactly what these beasts want us to do....stop living....I cannot do that.

I hope, I pray....I pray....I pray....that I am doing the right thing.